Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Don't Be a Jackass, Corky


Fun Donkey Facts

- Mules are a product of breeding a male donkey with a female horse. Hinnies are bred from female donkeys and male horses. Mules are considered the stronger and more desirable cross. Mules and hinnies are sterile.

- A male donkey is called a Jack. A female donkey is called a Jennet or Jenny. Their offspring are foals.

- Wild donkey herds are small and use their loud bray to keep in contact with each other over long distances.

- George Washington is responsible for the first breeding of Mammoth Jacks in the United States.

- If well cared for, donkeys can live for more than 40 years.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

I Do Not Have A Drinking Problem!




Is Corky an Alcoholic?

problem drinkerIn order to determine whether or not a person has drifted from "social drinking" into pathological drinking it is well to check over a list of test questions, which each one may ask him or herself and answer for him or herself truthfully.
It is possible - but not at all probable - that you may fool somebody else. But, you must be HONEST WITH YOURSELF. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Here are the test questions...
1. Do you require a drink the next morning? Yes
2. Do you prefer to drink alone? No
3. Do you lose time from work due to drinking? Yes
4. Is drinking harming your family in any way? Yes, but it was only once.
5. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily? Yes
6. Do you get the inner shakes unless you continue drinking? Yes
7. Has drinking made you irritable? Yes
8. Does drinking make you careless of your family's? No
9. Have you thought less of your husband or wife since drinking? Yes
10. Has drinking changed your personality? No
11. Does drinking cause you bodily complaints? No
12. Does drinking make you restless? No
13. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? No
14. Has drinking made you more impulsive? Yes
15. Have you less self control since drinking? Yes
16. Has your initiative decreased since drinking? Yes
17. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? Yes
18. Do you lack perseverance in pursuing a goal since? Yes
19. Do you drink to obtain social ease? (In shy, timid, self-conscious individuals.) No
20. Do you drink for self-encouragement? (In persons with feelings of inferiority.) Yes
21. Do you drink to relieve marked feelings of in-adequacy? Yes
22. Has your sexual potency suffered since drinking? God, Yes
23. Do you show marked dislikes and hatreds since drinking? - Only towards Jason LaRue.
24. Has your jealousy, in general, increased since drinking? - Only Towards Ryan Hanigan
25. Do you show marked moodiness as a result of drinking? Yes
26. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? No
27. Has drinking made you more sensitive? Corky no sensitive
28. Are you harder to get along with since drinking? No
29. Do you turn to an inferior environment since drinking? No
30. Is drinking endangering your health? Probably
31. Is drinking affecting your peace of mind? No, makes me happy.
32. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? No
33. Is drinking jeopardizing your business - your job? Yes, missed September call ups last year due to rehab.
34. Is drinking clouding your reputation? - Have you seen this blog?
35. Is drinking disturbing the harmony of your life? No
NOTE: The test questions above are not A.A. questions but are the guidelines used by Johns Hopkins University Hospital in deciding whether a patient is alcoholic or not. In addition, we in A.A. would ask even more. Here are a few:
36. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory (black-out) while, or after drinking? - Every Saturday
37. Have you ever felt, when or after drinking, an inability to concentrate? Yes
38. Have you ever felt "remorse" after drinking? Yes
39. Has a physician ever treated you for drinking? Going on 4 times now.
40. Have you ever been hospitalized for drinking? - In the last month?, no.
2317You have answered 40 of 40 questions.

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If you answer YES to three or more of the Test Questions, you are definitely an alcoholic.

So, is Corky an alcoholic or just a party monster? You be the judge.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

THE INTIMIDATOR


Did you know that Corky Miller has two carreer intentional walks? He also has 95 career hits, that's almost as much Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang combined!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Oh Corky...


Speaking of jerseys, did you know that Coky Miller has put on an MLB jersey for 5 different ball clubs? Yep, Cincinnati, Minnesota, Boston, Atlanta and Chicago (AL) he has also spent time in the Seattle farm system.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Another Game Winning Fact!


Did you know that condoms during the Renaissance were made out of intestines and bladder? In the late 15th century, Dutch traders introduced condoms made from "fine leather" to Japan. Unlike the horn condoms used previously, these leather condoms covered the entire penis

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Ladies Man


Corky's 5 tips on how to be a Ladies Man:

1.) What better way to show your woman you love her than with the old candle trick? Invite her over to your house and gently seduce her with dim lighting and suave manners.

2.) Give your hunny a small box. On the inside flap write "Just 50 of the many reasons why I love you." Have 50 multi-colored folded strips of paper inside with various phrases...making sure it's personalized with inside secrets.

3.) Have at least one conversation a day (on the phone or at home) where you whisper to the other person and let them know you love them and miss them. With a whisper you capture their attention.

4.) Write your love a poem that describes how you feel about them; be as detailed as possible.

5.) Feed her spaghetti.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Corky Miller: Fan Favorite


Did you know that Corky Miller loves kids? Unlike most celebrities of today, Corky is pleased to meet with his fans.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Quite the Poet


Did you know that Corky likes to kill time during pitching changes by coming up with poems about animals?

Everybody Farts


Did you know that Corky suffers from an extreme case of uncontrollable flatulence?

Ya Can't Win Em All


Did you know that Corky sometimes struggles using everyday technologies?

I Was Born This Way!


Did you know that Corky Miller is a self-proclaimed Diva?

Corky's Game Winning Fun Facts


Did you know that after every win Corky greets the winning pitcher with a fun fact?

All Day, Every Day


You think the Pittsburgh Pirates starting pitcher, Dock Ellis, pitching a no hitter while on LSD in 1970 was impressive? Corky catches every game behind the plate while high on methamphetamines.

Quit Goofin Around, Corky!


Did you know that Corky likes to goof around with the pitchers when they're having struggles hitting the strike zone?

I Ain't No Dummy!


Did you know that Corky Miller is a college graduate? Yep he got his degree in 1998 at the University of Nevada - Reno.

Corky's Words of Wisdom


Did you know Corky Miller was once rated the world's third toughest man behind John Cena and Dennis Rodman?

Move Out of the way Hank Aaron!




Did you know that in 10 major league seasons, Corky Miller has 11 career home runs?