Don't Be a Jackass, Corky

Fun Donkey Facts

- Mules are a product of breeding a male donkey with a female horse. Hinnies are bred from female donkeys and male horses. Mules are considered the stronger and more desirable cross. Mules and hinnies are sterile.

- A male donkey is called a Jack. A female donkey is called a Jennet or Jenny. Their offspring are foals.

- Wild donkey herds are small and use their loud bray to keep in contact with each other over long distances.

- George Washington is responsible for the first breeding of Mammoth Jacks in the United States.

- If well cared for, donkeys can live for more than 40 years.

HEY CHUMP!

I Do Not Have A Drinking Problem!

Is Corky an Alcoholic?

In order to determine whether or not a person has drifted from "social drinking" into pathological drinking it is well to check over a list of test questions, which each one may ask him or herself and answer for him or herself truthfully.

It is possible - but not at all probable - that you may fool somebody else. But, you must be HONEST WITH YOURSELF. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Here are the test questions...

Yes	No	1. Do you require a drink the next morning? Yes
Yes	No	2. Do you prefer to drink alone? No
Yes	No	3. Do you lose time from work due to drinking? Yes
Yes	No	4. Is drinking harming your family in any way? Yes, but it was only once.
Yes	No	5. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily? Yes
Yes	No	6. Do you get the inner shakes unless you continue drinking? Yes
Yes	No	7. Has drinking made you irritable? Yes
Yes	No	8. Does drinking make you careless of your family's? No
Yes	No	9. Have you thought less of your husband or wife since drinking? Yes
Yes	No	10. Has drinking changed your personality? No
Yes	No	11. Does drinking cause you bodily complaints? No
Yes	No	12. Does drinking make you restless? No
Yes	No	13. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? No
Yes	No	14. Has drinking made you more impulsive? Yes
Yes	No	15. Have you less self control since drinking? Yes
Yes	No	16. Has your initiative decreased since drinking? Yes
Yes	No	17. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? Yes
Yes	No	18. Do you lack perseverance in pursuing a goal since? Yes
Yes	No	19. Do you drink to obtain social ease? (In shy, timid, self-conscious individuals.) No
Yes	No	20. Do you drink for self-encouragement? (In persons with feelings of inferiority.) Yes
Yes	No	21. Do you drink to relieve marked feelings of in-adequacy? Yes
Yes	No	22. Has your sexual potency suffered since drinking? God, Yes
Yes	No	23. Do you show marked dislikes and hatreds since drinking? - Only towards Jason LaRue.
Yes	No	24. Has your jealousy, in general, increased since drinking? - Only Towards Ryan Hanigan
Yes	No	25. Do you show marked moodiness as a result of drinking? Yes
Yes	No	26. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? No
Yes	No	27. Has drinking made you more sensitive? Corky no sensitive
Yes	No	28. Are you harder to get along with since drinking? No
Yes	No	29. Do you turn to an inferior environment since drinking? No
Yes	No	30. Is drinking endangering your health? Probably
Yes	No	31. Is drinking affecting your peace of mind? No, makes me happy.
Yes	No	32. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? No
Yes	No	33. Is drinking jeopardizing your business - your job? Yes, missed September call ups last year due to rehab.
Yes	No	34. Is drinking clouding your reputation? - Have you seen this blog?
Yes	No	35. Is drinking disturbing the harmony of your life? No
NOTE: The test questions above are not A.A. questions but are the guidelines used by Johns Hopkins University Hospital in deciding whether a patient is alcoholic or not. In addition, we in A.A. would ask even more. Here are a few:
Yes	No	36. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory (black-out) while, or after drinking? - Every Saturday
Yes	No	37. Have you ever felt, when or after drinking, an inability to concentrate? Yes
Yes	No	38. Have you ever felt "remorse" after drinking? Yes
Yes	No	39. Has a physician ever treated you for drinking? Going on 4 times now.
Yes	No	40. Have you ever been hospitalized for drinking? - In the last month?, no.
23	17	You have answered 40 of 40 questions.

Click For Results ↓

If you answer YES to three or more of the Test Questions, you are definitely an alcoholic.

So, is Corky an alcoholic or just a party monster? You be the judge.

THE INTIMIDATOR

Did you know that Corky Miller has two carreer intentional walks? He also has 95 career hits, that's almost as much Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang combined!

Oh Corky...

Speaking of jerseys, did you know that Coky Miller has put on an MLB jersey for 5 different ball clubs? Yep, Cincinnati, Minnesota, Boston, Atlanta and Chicago (AL) he has also spent time in the Seattle farm system.

Another Game Winning Fact!

Did you know that condoms during the Renaissance were made out of intestines and bladder? In the late 15th century, Dutch traders introduced condoms made from "fine leather" to Japan. Unlike the horn condoms used previously, these leather condoms covered the entire penis

Ladies Man

Corky's 5 tips on how to be a Ladies Man:

1.) What better way to show your woman you love her than with the old candle trick? Invite her over to your house and gently seduce her with dim lighting and suave manners.

2.) Give your hunny a small box. On the inside flap write "Just 50 of the many reasons why I love you." Have 50 multi-colored folded strips of paper inside with various phrases...making sure it's personalized with inside secrets.

3.) Have at least one conversation a day (on the phone or at home) where you whisper to the other person and let them know you love them and miss them. With a whisper you capture their attention.

4.) Write your love a poem that describes how you feel about them; be as detailed as possible.

5.) Feed her spaghetti.